Three Things in Common

Dear Sonia,

You are cursed with a few things that you don't have in common with either of your parents, but you do have in common with me.

1. Sweaty hands and feet. This has always grossed your mom out and now you have it. She once told you that I would teach you what to do about it since she is no help to you, having never suffered from this. I will indeed. I have all kinds of tricks and hints.

2. Tooty bum. You fart. A fair bit. Your daddy has been heard to blame this on our entire family. You come from a whole long line of good farters, but your mother, somehow, escaped this. Now, she's been regularly struck with horrible gas pain over the years (once, she had to get out of the driver's seat in LA so I could drive the rest of the way home because she was doubled over!). So, I think that if farting means you never have to be doubled over with gas pain, the more the better!

3. Inability to smile on demand. See exhibit A above. This is one of many photos of you already at age 2 where you were told to smile and this is what happened to your face. Your mom and dad, who are apparently brilliant, figured out that if they instead ask you to think of something funny, then you smile just fine. But tell you to smile? You end up like this. You know who else has this problem? Me and your Nana. Neither of us have really ever taken a good photo, but those rare times we have is when someone caught us in some smile and we didn't know they were taking the photo. Or the times when your Nana calls your Papa some silly name while he's snapping the photo and then for some reason, she looks normal. I am really really hoping you outgrow this one. Your mom and dad both know how to smile on cue for a photo and not look deranged, and I have hope you could learn. I worry though, given what I know about myself and Nana that this might be just as biological as your sweaty appendages and your tooty bum.

These things, by the way, are nothing to be ashamed about. They are things you cannot control. Yes, okay, you could get Botox shots in your hands and feet, but I don't recommend it. You'll learn to live with it. And tooting you'll learn to do in private or there's always Beano. And you can adopt some pensive face for photos that will work just fine. You're gorgeous, so it'll hardly matter. I've spent a fair bit of time worrying about some of this stuff myself, and I'm here to tell you it's a big waste. You're awesome. And that's all that matters.

Love you!

Auntie K