Everyone Loves the Kid You Will Be

Dear Sonia,

Today is your first day of school. Mommy dropped you off about a half hour ago. You are miserable, my sweet. You are screaming and crying and you are very upset. Mommy is also very upset. She called me crying herself. See how much she loves you? She is wondering if it would've been better to wait until next year for school for you. I think the answer to that is "No Way!" You are whip-smart cognitively and a little behind on the emotional side - school at 2 1/2 is just right for you.

This is your first day of school, ever in your life. We only get one of these, remember! There's lots of other first days to come, but this one - the first ever in your life only happens once.

You will be okay. That's the most important thing. You will learn to be more independent and you will learn that you don't need your Mom to feel safe. Mom is surely safe - this is not in question, but there is safety other places as well. Comfort is nice, but it isn't always necessary. Sometimes it is great to be uncomfortable, as it makes us figure out how to manage situations and feelings better. It teaches us how to cope. And coping, my dear little niece, is the number one skill to have. It is the thing that sets the people who are successes and are happy from the people who are not.

Your Mom and Dad want you to be adventurous. They want you to be willing to take chances, and try new things, and travel and take risks. They want you to be willing to go off to college and make new friends, and speak up when you need to. Today is the first step towards all of that.

I never spent more than a week away from Nana and Papa until I went to college. I have been homesick every single time I've moved away from home. Every time. But each time, after a while, that feeling goes away and I start living my exciting life, wherever I am. Don't be confused, 'ita, I ALWAYS MISS HOME and I always miss the people who make home home, but I've got stuff to do and things to see and a super life to lead! And that is exactly what you are doing! This is the very first time you are homesick/momsick. You will learn to figure out how to make that feel okay.

Dude, there's so much to learn! There's so many kids to meet! Miss Brenda and Miss Melissa are going to end up being your favorite friends ever! Think how much you love Miss Anna and Miss Missy and multiply that by a bunch and that's how much you are gonna love those two, I promise. Think of all the time you spend with Miss Tiffany without Mommy there - you love that time. This is pretty much the same. Eventually, that classroom will feel as much a part of your world as your living room does right now.

Think of how much you'll have to tell Mommy each day after school! You'll get to tell her all about what you did and what you learned and who you played with. And it'll be YOUR STORY, because Mommy didn't do it with you. You'll get to teach her all the stuff you learn and get to show her all your projects. It's gonna be great!

I don't have a little girl like you, so I don't really understand what it is like for your Mommy to have to leave you, screaming and crying with the teachers telling her to just leave because it's best. I really have no idea what it is like to have my heart go walking around outside my body, which is what I believe it must be like to have a child. I am not a good person to give your Mommy advice. She should call up her friend Sue or someone and find out what they did. She should call Nana and find out about how it felt to leave her at school! (Nana says that your Mommy cried and screamed and held onto her leg when she dropped her off at school!)

But, this is my blog to you, and so I will say this:

-Buck up, girly. Every time you go to school, you will get to see Mommy again when it is over. She's not going anywhere.

-No need to cry, friend. You will learn and grow and have fun and gain awesome skills at school.

-Smile, dude. You already know your ABCs and your 123s and your colors and shapes and animals and freakin' tons of other stuff. You have time to spend energy learning the emotional skills at school.

-Remember, Sonia, you are one of the sweetest, most caring, easy-going kids I've ever met. You are a gift to a classroom - any classroom. You will be the one who hugs a child when they get hurt. You will be the one who befriends the kid that is struggling. You will be the one who loves the teachers the most. Everyone loves the kid you will be. Everyone.

Love,

Auntie K

ADDENDUM: Mommy called again! She talked to your teachers after they delivered you to music class and you were doing great! You were verbalizing that you felt better and you were telling them about your cat-buddy Rudy. You'll be fine, dude! YAY!